We all want to feel loved. And there’s one secret, or not so secret, ingredient that make the magic happen.

It’s called: loving yourself.

What does this really mean? It turns out that feeling loved has very little to do with what another person can provide you with. It has everything to do with the self realization of the magic within you.

To seek out what others can offer you stems from our “need” to feel validated and when we get what we want it can often make us feel loved and special. However, this nothing more than an artificial layer concealing a deeper aspect of ourselves dying to be discovered.

We have to re-examine what we think we want, and give some attention to what we actually “need”.

So, when we feel the want to be loved and begin seeking a relationship, what is happening within?

If we’re struggling to find a companion, we can often conjure up stories of how we might not be good enough or attractive enough. This is nothing more than the superficial layer or a blockage that prevents us from attaining the thing we actually need – to connect with our core self.

So, is this a false love that the ego is crying out for?

We’re bombarded with so many definitions of love, or what true love is, whether it’s through movies, TV, books and when looking around the greater society. It would appear that it is our minds, and also our ego, which has been saturated with so many different notions of love that it’s caused so much confusion and conflict within.

Then what is true love?

True love is something felt within each person, which makes you feel whole and complete. It’s the coming together of two people to share life experiences and exchange the feeling of love with each other. It’s unconditional. True love is also you at the deepest level. Its your authentic self that’s been masked by the illusions and buried underneath the beliefs that you hold.

How Do We Love Ourselves More?

We have to recognize the existence of our true, core self by discerning the difference between what we think we want and what we know we need. We have to observe the negative stories and thoughts we have about ourselves and turn them upside down into a positive affirmation that we are worthy and lovable.

You could even start by writing those thoughts and beliefs down on paper. Write down how you think how and where these beliefs came from.

As stated earlier, movies and media as a whole often unconsciously give us all sort of meanings to love which don’t serve us in a positive manner.

Once you’ve completed this, read through what you have written and acknowledge what you now used to believe and realize that these do not define you. Whether it was beliefs about your appearance, character or personality, these were the superficial, or artificial layers concealing your core, true self: love.

Gradually your beliefs about yourself begin to transform and you morph into a more confident, self-assured person.

That connection to our authentic selves is the beginning of a whole new world.

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